TEN (10 ) COSTLY MISTAKES THAT CAN MAKE A WOMAN EXPERIENCE HELL IN HER MARRIAGE.
Among other covenant-based institutions ordained by God, marriage is number one (Gen. 2:28). But because it was ordained by God doesn't mean it cannot be hellish! There is God factor and there is human factor before marriage can be a Haven. But people often ignore the human factor and thereby accuse God for their horrible experiences in marriage.
Albeit, marriage should be a Haven and not an Oven, a ministry to enjoy and not to endure, the following mistakes could make a woman to experience Hell in her marriage.
1) My beauty alone will win his love for me.
"The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with personality but must live with character" (Betty Davis: late US film actress). Yes! Your beauty caught his attention but cannot hold his attention for long in marriage. If beauty alone could do the magic, why then do we have beautiful women (especially the celebrities) being divorced few months after their marriage? Of course there might be other responsible factors like spiritual forces in failed marriages but the truth is ladies often commit this grave mistake. Character is more powerful than a magnet... It has natural pulling power. Friend, as you spend money on those make-up, work more on your characters... This is what will hold your marriage together.
2) We are equal in creation, submission is an old school idea.
When God emphasized on the word "submission" in marriage,( Eph. 5:22,33; Col. 3:18; 1Peter 3:1,6) He knows what He was saying. Submission has the power to bring a man down to his knee. It has the power to knock the door of conscience of a man and also turn on the switch of his love toward his wife. No matter how spiritual a man could be, he can never fall in love with an arrogant and stubborn woman (Prov. 21:9, 19). As a woman, you must know the true definition of gender equality so as to save your marital life from misery.
3) My spirituality is paramount; nothing like satisfying Sex!
It's true! Your spirituality is crucial but please don't forget the scriptures that say "Defraud ye not one another, except it be with consent..."(1co
r. 7:5). "...but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband"(1cor. 7:34). Satisfying love making not even sex is an essential pillar in marriage. In this deadly generation, if you neglect or take your "bedroom responsibility" with levity, you'll be surprised to see him in the hands of desperate ladies who are looking for a "shield to put their fathers' names under". Don't be too spiritual to the extent of being cold and frigid in bed. Spirituality is not a substitute for romance in marriage. Be warned!!!
4) My husband is highly anointed, he needs no attention of mine.
Have you studied the story of strongly anointed man called Samson in the Bible? If not please do. Wives, there are oceans of Delilahs in the world today. Don't be fooled! Anointing doesn't break the sexual desire/libido of a man neither does it remove the masculinity of a man. Not taking keen interest in the emotional need of your anointed hubby is like leaving your meal for hungry cats! Your anointed hubby is still a man made from the dust (Gen. 3:19). So get him pampered with your attention.
5) I'm now married, those sexy clothes are not important again.
It's often said and it's true that men are moved by what they see. Leave it or take it, sexy clothes do "turn a man on" and can always pull him closer to you especially when alone in the house. Being born again is not an excuse for you to look unkept and sexy. Remember there are a lot of girls on the street who are ready to spend their last cash on sexy clothes in order to get the attention of your hubby. Let your husband always know that you are still a "girl" and not a "woman". That's how a man is wired and so you should not be too tired to present yourself as a Queen before your hubby.
6) I don't need to be a good cook, restaurants are now everywhere.
Men only pretend as if nothing is wrong you being an "indomie girl" but the moment they get what they wanted, then you know their real swagger! I know of wives who lost their marriages because they are not kitchen oriented. Two places are pivotal for you to master as a woman. Guess what? The kitchen and the bedroom. Those two areas in your house are powerful enough to keeping your husband knitted to you forever. If possible, enrol for a catering class. It will help your marriage a lot.
7) Mine is to always receive from him after all am a woman.
Marriage involves the mutual consents of two parties and for it to last, it must be built on mutuality. Even God, after giving us His love (through the redeeming sacrifice of His Son, Jesus) expect something in return which is our lives. There is nothing bad in you being generous towards your husband (or hubby to be). Don't always be at the receiving end.
8) I will not let him know my true character/
behavior until after wedding.
Any woman that conceals her naughty behavior (with the intention of getting a man fooled into marriage) had already signed her divorced documents even before tying the nuptial knot. A man will rather excuse himself than to stay and endure a woman that is bent on sending him to his early grave!
9) It's me and my husband, I don't want his parents and siblings around.
Before you came into his life, those lovely people were his world! Sending them away, not allowing your husband to care for them or even maltreating them are one of the marital iniquities you can commit as a wife. Fine! Some families could be wicked. You need wisdom and prayer to tackle such a problem. Friend, for you to last and eat the fruit of your husband's house, you must love his people.
10) It's all about romance, prayer has no need.
Peter thought he could remain faithful to the Lord Jesus by mere love alone but he was proved wrong when faced with temptation. Love/romance need fervent prayers to remain green and sustained. There are unseen forces of wickedness that are out there to attack your marriage. There are silly husband snatchers out there. There are wicked in-laws and evil family curses. But all these and other factors will not succeed in Jesus name. Commitment to the Lord is highly important. Don't be too romantic to the extent of being spiritually blunt. Satan is on the prowl (1Peter 5:8).
Be warned!!!
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